river flows in you.

you in flows river.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhN7SG-H-3k


that song is amazing.
it's the only thing I can even write this while listening to.

I realized this is my bitch about Adam blog, and no one but... like Stotler has read it ahah.
I'm off of hiatus for a little bit.

This blog has become a record of some sorts, to maintain that he was real, and to make sure I remember everything that's caused me this pain.
Where we left off ? Right. She sold the ring, and then sent the money to him in Florida.
And guess who he began talking to again?


...
I was stupid, once more.
I keep ending up the stupid, tragic, dumb girl in this. And I will never judge another girl like me ever again for it. I've not earned the right to hypocrisy.
I broke Collin's heart.
Adam led me away from my path again... Everytime I'm so damn close to being happy again and being normal, he comes back, like some kind of sick disease. or maybe like herpes. or something. it's painful.
it's nauseating.
I'm sick as hell, taking my chemo, trying to forget him.
and there he is again.

and he's so easy to want
so easy to believe.
he told me he wanted to be with me.
that he would finish our story.





but I quit answering again.
I became stronger again.
I found a new distraction.
and this one i want to stay with.
he's amazing.
Alex is truly amazing, he is...

and Adam found someone else in Florida finally.
in a way, I'm very distraught. to hear that he's moved on. that he's okay.
but I'm very happy that finally, he's okay.
he's dating someone that isn't her... He is not with her anymore. She's not controlling him.
He's on his own road to recovery.
I deleted him from every form of communication, pretty much.
No more facebook, the easiest convention.
I'm going to learn to live now.
and he's learning....


it hurts like hell to be done.
it hurts like hell.
but hopefully, I'm closing this chapter for good.
this may be the end of the story.
it really may be.