I am thankful for each and every one of you.

Even the few of you that are hurting me, and breaking me apart as I type.

I am thankful for every one in my life, because I would not be the person I am today without an impact from you.

I am thankful for the home I live in, the parents I've been born under, the education I receive, the food I eat. The coffee I brew each morning, especially, hahaha. The clothes on my back, the cats in my bed, the snow on the ground.

Every part of this world we live in is beautiful, and we are so lucky to have it.

We are very lucky to be under administration that has kept us safe in our homes, that we do not have bombs going off because of our troops that are fighting so hard for the freedom we ALSO fought hard to receive.


I hope each of you have a very happy Thanksgiving, and I pray it is not our last peaceful one.

I'm really digging the jack's mannequin lyric from rescued that goes all,
"I feel alright, so please don't get me rescued."

It reminds me of Adam a bit, especially lately when he decided to contact me after Alex dumped him a bit ago.

I'm doing fine, I'm getting through my life without him.
and when he just shows up like that, it wrecks everything i've built up.

so along with the scurrying of going to a job interview, now I am scurrying because I GOT SAID JOB and my first day is today.
I was hired on the spot.
I love charisma.

I have a new job interview today.
In an hour.
I am scurrying around, getting ready.
actually, that's a blatant lie, I already scurried. Now I am sitting and not scurrying, and listening to music.
I am nervous, nervous, nervous! But excited.

this is the longest goodbye i've ever given
do you still see me standing here
my mouth is frozen with fear

you raced to be my first place now it's you i erase.
will you still be there for me if i realize
i made a mistake. i didn't think so
i never thought so.

I've moved on from you so let me go, let me go.

I pretty much hate my Cosmetology class, because it is a group of 50 girls stuck together, and they are all stupid, stupid girls. It's like the room is split up between the catty and the cool. The right side if the room is made up of 90% of the people I dislike in that class- Whom I only dislike because they dislike me.
My side of the room, the left, is mostly cool. I'm fine with the majority of my side. Thank God.
Not only do I despise the people, but the drive there is so highly annoying. Driving for forty minutes each way [there/back] gets old, stupid, long, annoying, and just dumb.
On the upside, I just got an A on my Core Exam and did better than most of the class.
So I guess I should just concentrate on the work.
But it is so hard to when I show up to the class in a foul mood from the drive, am surrounded by foul girls, and have a foul, aching heart all day. All I do anymore is dwell in my sadness- yes, I know it's not a good idea, no, I can't control it- and upon thoughts that Adam and Justin coexist in. And Sean, believe it or not.
After becoming Twilight obsessive once more, I've found in my life that I do have my very own Jacob Black- Sean. My best friend who is madly, deeply in love with me.
But I selfishly cannot return this love.
I've only been in love with one person, and I will forever have given part of my heart to them.
Unfortunately, I do love Sean, but I'm not in love with him.
There are so many things that I could write about right now, but I need to clean my room or something or other to distract me from spiraling into a depression. I'm sure I'll reclaim this whole writing bit later on.

So I'm going to the movies to see Role Models tonight.
I'm really sad today, though, but hopefully things look up.

two words:





we're fucked.

why everyone can't be happy.

Today I was asked why everyone could not be happy.
My reply?
""we are not born to be happy. we are born to be manufactured into a world. to work, to marry and have 1-4 children respectively. and when someone messes with the system, there is hell to pay for everyone else."

I was told it was severely depressing.
and when you think about it, it is.